I’m commencing to think…..

It's a phrase-ism my mother-in-law uses.  "I'm commencing to think that __________________( fill in the blank here). "  But today, I did a thing,  a little behavioral habit of mine that I know usually leaves me kind of icky-feeling, but that's never stopped me before. Back in the day, when Luke was still a thing, and I … Continue reading I’m commencing to think…..


Seeking whom he may devour…

why the FUCK can i not do this .  why.  its easy for everyone else, have friends, trust, be nice, go out, have fun, not worry, whatever.  for me?  i have never done it and when i have tried i have failed.  outright.  royally.  large.  no fucking chance.  i misread cues, i get paranoid, i … Continue reading Seeking whom he may devour…

But for the grace of…an empty bank account

So.  Charlie Sheen.  Holy cow. And my first instinct is to say, "That asshole,"  and "He deserves it."  Because, really, he's an asshole.  And the reason he divulged everything to NBC is that it was getting too expensive to keep paying to keep people quiet.  And I am beginning to wonder if there might not … Continue reading But for the grace of…an empty bank account

What was I thinking?

Maybe it was that coy little smile he gave me last week in the parking lot, sweaty and hot and running while I was chatting up one of the other mommies at track practice. The way he came from behind me, already waving, sexy eye contact over the shoulder and I thought, "He does like … Continue reading What was I thinking?


We had a 3:00 am visit from the eleven year old overnight.  She had a dream that the car went off a bridge and she had to break the windows, cut the seat belts, swim her four year old brother to the surface.  When she came back for me, she cut me loose, and said, … Continue reading Well.

I’m a Lot to Handle

I originally started this post a couple weeks ago.  feeling all insecure, like it finally hitting me that there is nooooo temptation on his part whatsoever.   Was it Socrates who said, "an unexamined life is not worth living?"  Plato?  How about an OVER examined life?  Ruminative personality type?  Hyper-aware of all your faults?  Acutely … Continue reading I’m a Lot to Handle

The Good, the Bad, and the Ugly.

So I got put in my place by ANOTHER friend this week.  WTF, right?  Sent some pics, showing off my brand spanking new tattoos, with which I am totally in love, and made a joke about the four year old not understanding, and how cute he was trying to rub them off.  Here is the … Continue reading The Good, the Bad, and the Ugly.

Baby bring a lemon and a bottle of gin…

oohh. I had a relapse and i liked it. This is going to give me a whole new empathy/sympathy level for my addiction patients. That reward pathway, that thing is a bitch of a mistress. No motivation to climb back on the wagon. NONE