I've posted before on how I learned to make sense of the world; rejecting the deity-oriented worldview was necessary to account for examples of injustice and human suffering that are the rule on Earth, rather than the exception. Cheaters win here. (A lot.) Good guys go unrewarded. Children starve, are gassed, sold into 'marriage,' and … Continue reading On Hubris
Today is one of those days when I feel like my whole life is a trigger. You know, when you get hit with the realization that what you want is never going to happen, and can't ever happen no matter how you change your circumstances, how much you wrangle the environment, no matter how badass … Continue reading I’m struggling
The last time my camera was trained on this view, I was showing it to my dad on FaceTime. He had been admitted for 'inability to ambulate' which was crap, and which immensely contributed to the rapidity of his death. At that point we still thought he had a few months' of a chance; … Continue reading Hilton Head Island, SC
The kids' Spring choral concert was today. It was every wonderful cliche'd thing an elementary singing show should be. Kindergartners in yellow dresses and blonde pigtails, singing "Jesus loves me, this I know," and in their little off key voices. But the school is K-8 and the big kids got their turn, too. And the … Continue reading Puny God
All right, in all seriousness, can we stop the self-indulgent nauseating ruminative crap for a minute and talk about where this train is headed? So I am learning to figure out how I want to craft myself, here, right? And what is the meaning of life? because at the end of the day, we spend … Continue reading In all seriousness…
Here's what I've learned from this. I suck. (Okay, I knew that part already) Here's the new stuff: That's going to have to be okay. I don't have to care. I don't have to try. I don't have to get better. I can suck and still be loved. Here's what I suck at. Im fat. … Continue reading Dirty Little Secrets
Where to begin? I can't be the only one who feels this way. I know this because others do, in fact, commit suicide. So there's lots of company out there. Or was. Do I have a plan? Yeah. Lots of them. 11 blade in the backpack, secluded parking space in the woods. CO in … Continue reading What’s going on…..