I’m struggling

Today is one of those days when I feel like my whole life is a trigger.  You know, when you get hit with the realization that what you want is never going to happen, and can't ever happen no matter how you change your circumstances, how much you wrangle the environment, no matter how badass … Continue reading I’m struggling


“If he marks you, he can have you.”

no caption needed.

Baby bring a lemon and a bottle of gin…

oohh. I had a relapse and i liked it. This is going to give me a whole new empathy/sympathy level for my addiction patients. That reward pathway, that thing is a bitch of a mistress. No motivation to climb back on the wagon. NONE

Jennifer Aniston and the reinforcement of limbic pathways in delusional psychoses

Ok.  You've heard about the Jennifer Aniston cell?  They studied a bunch of people's PET scans I believe, and watched what fired when pictures were shown.  And they found one woman who had the same cell fire consistently when she saw a picture of Jen.  A single cell dedicated to Jen.  A neurochemical  BINGO game … Continue reading Jennifer Aniston and the reinforcement of limbic pathways in delusional psychoses

12 Steps (Adulterated)

In honor of the one month anniversary of his Deletion From my Phone, and therefore the anniversary of  our last contact, I Award myself this 30 day chip. BAhahaaaaa. Here's the 12 steps, as I have adulterated them. 🙂 1.  Admitted we were powerless over him, and that are lives are out of control. 2. … Continue reading 12 Steps (Adulterated)


It is truly amazing, now that I am paying attention, how much I edit.  Feelings, opinions, intelligence, interests. Don't know why I'm only getting this now.  Really?  Im going to be 47 next week. I was trying to have a conversation with The Brick Wall.  This is my new name for the bf.  Here's what … Continue reading Editing

What Did You Expect, Really?

Its been a while.  Dutifully taking my Zoloft.  I do admit, it did fix suicidal.  So there's that.  And I am engaging more.  Kids' homework, grocery lists, all the vanilla crap that goes with suburban mommy life. I got what I wanted.  My husband, non medically trained, noticed the problem and said the magic words. … Continue reading What Did You Expect, Really?