Some kind of little kindling in my head caught fire the other day, and I realized…recovery is not about learning and applying psychological lessons to my current life. Not at all. Recovery in mental health, like with obesity, has to be about lifestyle change.
It’s insufficient to change habits, though, even thought habits. What you have to do is change the fundamental, internalized picture of yourself in your head, and then believe it. And then live it. You can’t just act different, you have to be different. Let the actions come later, as a natural consequence of being someone else.
I am NOT talking about being someone you’re not, though. We’re already being someone we’re not, and that’s how we got ourselves in this situation in the first place. What I AM talking about is discovering the authentic, right, comfortable you, and then being THAT person.
This is the work required, in my opinion. This is why it’s so damn hard to succeed. Discovering yourself and unraveling the knots and layers of a lifetime’s ‘shoulds,’ is a multi step process. Figure out the thing that bothers you. recognize the underpinnings. decide why its incongruent. figure out what you need it to look like instead. act that way. resist the urge to return when external pressures try to shove you back. recognize when you’ve been shoved back and didn’t even realize it. assert it again. make yourself believe. extrapolate to other situations. repeat.
then do it again for the next issue.
and for the one after that.
neurons that fire together, wire together and create a new reality. Your reality.